Let’s talk about that thing that drives and controls us all, called ‘Expectations.’ The name of the dramatic, action, romance story we’ve written in our heads, and live everyday unconsciously trying to make real. Anything that comes into our lives must live up to this tale we’ve already written, or else we start asking why the world is such an unfair and selfish place for not following the plot and structure of our story.
Our story is full of characters: a supporting cast of villains, lovers and friends that we’ve already created. We expect everyone we meet to fulfil these supporting roles, and if they do we say ‘we’ve met the one,' or 'what a great new friend.’ But if they don’t we say, ‘why can’t they be more like this,’ or, ‘Why won’t they change for me?’ But what this really means is, ‘why can’t they be the character I created for them?’
We allow our Expectations to write chapters upon chapters of how our life and relationships should turn out, and then we become angry, frustrated, or sad and depressed, when the story in our head doesn’t match the reality we have to live.
We’re essentially egotistical driven characters, believing that every component of the story is there solely to progress our journey. We’re constantly caught up in OUR problems, OUR struggles, and those who have disappointed US , asking:
‘Why doesn't he/she love me?’
‘Why did he/she not call me back?’
‘Why didn’t I get the job?’
We think we’re the only ones really living and everyone else is just an extra in the story of our lives. We stand next to people everyday and forget to acknowledge that they exist just like us, and that, just like us, they have a whole life they are trying to live. We forget that every struggle we are going through everyone else is also going through in some way shape or form.
This is why we all have different Expectations of things like love, happiness, struggle, sadness, caring and friendship. Because we’re all writing different stories in our heads, and we all believe that everyone should be following OUR story, once again failing to realise that they have a story of their own.
We have to step back and acknowledge that we’re all main characters, that we all have lives and struggles. If we can do this, if we can see all the Expectations put on us by our family, our friends, our boyfriend or girlfriend, our boss, bank, and government. If we can imagine all the Expectations placed on ourselves and everyone else, all the stories people are trying to make each other a supporting character of, we'd see how it's impossible to live up to all the Expectations others have of us.
There is no way we can play the dozens upon dozens of different characters everyone Expects us to be, and why should we? Fuck that! We have our life to live! If we tried to live up to everyone’s Expectations of us how could we ever follow a life that makes us happy?
Our friends, loved ones, lovers, work colleagues, even strangers, all Expect something from us. It's like we're the players and everyone wants us on their team for a football match, but no one has even bothered to ask us if we even like playing football.
I believe that, ‘we’re all destined to break someone’s heart.’ This means at some point we are all going to disappoint someone. It’s unavoidable, we meet too many people who Expect something from us. But this also means that we’re also destined to have our hearts broken. This is why we must let go of our Expectations, because in the grand scheme of things they simply do not work, they don’t make any sense.
No one is a supporting character, we’re all the main star of the story, living and shining side by side, trying not to fall from the sky. But we’re unable to live up to the Expectations of everyone who looks up at us, and Expects us to shine just to light their world.